I’m making a country album. This is serious to me. it’s my dream. I don’t have any equipment right now and my voice muscles are weak, but I’m going to do it, god damn it. I’d like to share with you guys a few of the tracks.
The only thing I love more than my family is my gun. I wouldn’t say I’m one of those crazy gun people because I don’t love all guns. I only love my gun. She’s a black Smith & Wesson 9mm semi-automatic. I love her. She smells like charcoal and stays icy cool even when it’s hot. I love her. She looks great in a bikini and never nags me while I’m watching TV. I love her. She doesn’t fire bullets, she drops iron petals. Everything I’ve shot with her thanks me before dying.
So, I’m really upset because I misplaced her. If you guys could keep an eye out for her… I think I might’ve left her at the park.