OH DEAR GOD
I went to Las Vegas this week and I’m happy to report that Lady Luck was very good to me. Ha, ha. No, I didn’t hit the jackpots or score a twenty-one. Nope. In fact, I didn’t win a penny.
All I did was finally realize that my life is worth living. I have great friends and family, good health, and twelve thousand copies of Top Gun on VHS locked in a storage warehouse in Studio City, California.
You read right. Twelve Thousand unopened VHS copies of the 1986 Tim Cruise hit, Top Gun. I don’t need to win jackpots because I have the biggest jackpot of them all in my storage space! I mean, that storage space does cost a lot of money so it would’ve been nice to win something in that rotten city. God, I really wish I hadn’t spent so much in Vegas. I’m really in debt. Fuck that place! How dare they rob me! Me! The owner of the largest Top Gun VHS collection in North America! I’m going to go back to that desert shit hole and I’m going to jump off a god damn building. See if the drunk pieces of shit there can keep that story in Vegas. What a fucking stupid fucking marketing catchphrase. Marketing catchphrases don’t even work on me. I’m so fucking smart. Try me! Fucking ask me a question, I’ll fucking know the answer.
Well, I guess I’m going back to Vegas to die. -And don’t even think about breaking into my storage unit after I’m dead to steal my Top Guns. I’m going to set it on fire.
Ps. I’ve never actually seen Top Gun.
This will keep me off commercial airplanes until at least Sunday.
The best comment found in response to this article. This person hates their boss SO MUCH.
here’s the wrestlemania cake i made. its the wrestling ring and inside it is JOHN CENA vs. THE ROCK. pretty good, right? looks like a capable adult made this, right?
Youre welcome, Lou!
im sorry i fell asleep for a few hours because i was dying.
I was gonna just shooting Julia walking down a street or two, but her idea (shoot them making cakes for Wrestlemania) worked out much better. I shot less than I’d expected, but had a far better time.
And they let me watch Wrestlemania, for which I cannot thank them enough.
a channel 101 show wade and i made. it took 4 months and cost $2500 to produce. we got last place! which is a FIRST PLACE loser. thats what my grandma would say (probably). i think its just too smart and awesome for most people. or maybe people didnt wanna vote for it because i clearly hadnt showered for a few days when we shot this
