I’m in Montreal right now. Its lovely. And I wish this post was about Montreal, but I haven’t been here too long and I don’t really have much. So instead I want to write about a sex dream I had last night with Kevin Kline. I have no idea why my brain chose Kevin Kline. I guess I thought he was cute in A Fish Called Wanda, but come on! He’s not even in the top 30 men I would like to have dream sex with.

So I saw him at a party and he doesn’t even ask my name, which is fucked up. I don’t think that’s sexy even in a sexy dream. I’m not a slut! Then he wanted to have sex on the sidewalk, so that made it the most unenjoyable dream sex ever. People were walking by and I think my dream was doing a fantastic job at giving the people accurate reactions- Laughing and gagging.  It also went on way too long. At one point I remember saying something to Kevin (I can call him Kevin cause we dream fucked). I said something like “I really need to get going.” He explained it was my fault for having sex wrong. I hate this dream so much. I hate that my mind made up such an uncomfortable scenario where I’m slutty for Kevin Kline. I hate that dream people saw me naked and that I was bad at sex.  

I hate that this is the most interesting thing I have to write about.